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Out of Control

 A long time ago, I did a funeral where the youngest daughter has been taking care of her mother for several years and finally passed away. As we were going through the details of the funeral, she shared with me that now that her mother is gone, she doesn't have to talk to her sisters anymore. I was surprised and asked why she would want that. She replied that her three sisters have tried to control her life and though their mother needed help, they expected her to take care of her. When they showed up to see her mother, which was rarely, all they did was complain about everything, expecting her to do what they wanted rather than what their mother needed. This was proven out in that the sisters showed up the day before at the time of visitation, asking to see the obituary and the worship service trying to make 'corrections'. The funeral director also confirmed that they tried to control everything once they showed up, even though all the arrangements were made months ago. After the funeral, the sisters asked if I knew why their younger sister was ignoring them. I replied that they have to talk to her, though I knew that she probably wouldn't talk to them. None of them were members of the church, this was a funeral we did for the community. After everything was done for the day, I could see a weight has been lifted off her shoulders. I really hoped and hope that the sisters found some way to reconcile and they finally have a healthy relationship. 

There really is no such thing as a normal family, I mean how many cards did Jesus buy for Father's Day?  Back then, the average life span was about 40 years, so Jesus spent most of his life, becoming an adult at age 13 as a carpenter. Just about the time most people are slowing down (disease and accidents really wore most people down), Jesus begins a whole new career. Though Mary and Joseph knew Jesus was special, and his siblings must have known something was up, his traveling ministry seems to have really taken them by surprise. In our story today, still early in Mark's gospel, we hear Jesus' family believing Jesus is 'out of control' that they need to take him home and straighten him out. The Common English Bible translates the family's intent by them saying, "He is out of his mind." The lawyers came and charged him with being in collusion with Satan and he defends himself from those accusations.

When Jesus is told that his mothers and brothers and sisters are looking for him, he replies, "Who are my mothers, brothers and sisters? Those who do the will of my Father, they are my family." Not the thing that they wanted to hear. We know that this family rift wasn't permanent as Mary was present at Jesus' death and resurrection, and his younger brother James became the head of the church in Jerusalem. Families can be a great source of strength and love that allows us to be who we are and help us become the best we can be. Families can also hold us back and keep us down, demanding we conform to their values or wants, expecting us to deny our needs, wants, and life. Most of us are on the spectrum in between.

We don't know when Joseph, Mary's husband, died. Joseph was present when Jesus was twelve and we hear the story about him teaching in the Temple. At some time, when Joseph passed away, it was up to Jesus, as the first born, to take care of his mother and his siblings by running the family business. And it seems that some of them, at least, followed him in his ministry eventually, starting a new family occupation. Even in the Gospel of John, Jesus when he is upon the cross, expands his family by telling Mary that she has a new son in John and telling John that Mary is now his mother, take care of each other. 

Whether we have a large family or small, boisterous or reserved, most of us still have a family that we love and those that drive us crazy, or believe that we are crazy. We have family that are getting old and need help, and we, ourselves, have to now rely on those whom we have raised and help grow up. In this day of political chaos, our gatherings often become a time of tension and sometimes conflict right out in the open. For about ten years, my older sister's kid was the only grandchild in our family, which made Christmas's interesting to say the least. After number of years, I was quoted, "It's not Christmas until Taylor throws a tantrum." 

Families come in all shapes and sizes. They can bring us joy and cause us stress. Families found in the Bible are even more diverse than what we call families today in our society. Jesus tells us that if we love God and follow, we have another family to love us, and drive us crazy sometimes. Let us love our families, whether they be biological, community, church, or chosen. Amen.

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