Love and Sex

 Love and Sex

The only time in my 20 plus years of ministry that I left the sanctuary to find some members animatedly discussing something I said in a sermon was on personal testimony. I stated something like, "Our faith is personal, but not private, we are asked to talk about our faith, especially in worship, it isn't like I am asking us to talk about sex!" The group consensus was they would rather have me talk about sex. Rev. Dr. Eugene Peterson, who translated "The Message" and wrote the book "Working the Angles: The Shape of Pastoral Integrity" which we are reading in our Pastor Relations Committee, also wrote a book called, "The Five Smooth Stones" in which he lifted up a survey done by Redbook in the 1990's that had a very unexpected finding, women who ranked themselves as highly religious also ranked their love-lives most satisfactory. He surmised that if we have an open, trusting, and loving relationship with God that would translate into a open, trusting, and loving relationship with their partners as well. Sometime later in a group of pastors who were wondering how we could do better evangelism I threw out that we should put up billboards, "Want a better sex life, join a church!"

Pastor Timothy LeHaye, an author who helped write 'The Left Behind' series was a pastoral counselor in the 1970's and wrote the book, "The Act of Marriage" in which he stated that sex is the greatest gift of marriage and  "IT" was the reason everyone should want to be married. We have all these conflicting, emotional, politicized, and explosive ideas, morals, and power surrounding "IT". I am going to call sex "IT" for most of the rest of the sermon because it's going to lower most people's blood pressure who may have never heard that word used before in worship, much less multiple times. So, is "IT" something vile and disgusting that you save for someone you love, or is "IT" the greatest experience in all of God's creation? I am leaning towards it being a gift and good, but maybe not the greatest.

Lots of church Fathers throughout the history of Christianity desperately have wished that the Song of Solomon wasn't in the Bible. They have often tried to change it into a metaphor of our love and passion for Christ. But a thorough reading of the book shows that it is a love poem of the desire that two people have for each other and them relishing each other's bodies and expressing their love physically. And there is no shame or embarrassment about their love and desire. One of the 10 commandments does say one should not commit adultery, that once you have entered into a covenant, a marriage with one person you should should be faithful. But other than that, there is surprising little in the Bible that casts "IT" as something dirty, filled with wickedness, or sending us to Hell. Jesus does his first miracle at the wedding in Cana, celebrating two people in love, helping the party last for days. No where in the Gospels does Jesus say it is better to be celibate and when confronted with prostitutes, he has compassion, when confronted with adultery,  he has compassion, and when being a part of a celebration of love and commitment and passion he helps keep things going.

Each culture and each time in history has had different morals, rituals, and ceremonies around "IT". Our society, starting with the Pilgrims, have had a more repressed view of "IT", but I encourage you to look at the early Puritan towns in Eastern Pennsylvania of having some unusual names which show a more open attitude. "IT" in our culture and media has been portrayed as being best when each of the partners has a drop-dead chiseled gorgeous body and it is happening in a one-night stand or a weekend tryst. Let us remember two weeks ago that we proclaim that ALL bodies are beautiful for we all are created in the image of God. "IT" is purely physical, apart from emotions or even love. But as much as they try to separate "IT" from emotions, love, spirituality, and the common good of society, they often fail. This sermon is too short to talk about all the things that can go wrong in having a physical relationship or trying to separate "IT" from everything else, so all I can say is that doing "IT" is not consequence free and is often used for purposes other than sharing, joy, and intimacy.

In having a healthy, loving, caring relationship that includes "IT" has to start with trust, love, and being vulnerable. The relationship is best when supported by family and friends and a spiritual body like the church. "IT" is a gift from God, it is wondrous, joyful, and includes moments of ecstacy. "IT" is not about the shape of the body or how "IT" is done, "IT" is about playing, caring, and making love. So to bring this into our conversation about LGBTQA persons, "IT" is not about the mechanics either or who is allowed or sanctioned to express their feelings and engage in "IT". If two adults love and care for each other, we as the church, should help them with their relationship, celebrate their relationship, and honor their relationship whether it is a heterosexual, homosexual, non-binary, or non-traditional relationship. As we will find out next week, there are dozens of different types of families found in our Bible, just like there is today, just like there has always been.  Amen.