No one is born a racist. No one is born believing the color of their skin means they are better or worse than those who are different.
Brene Brown, a researcher and writer, writes about the difference between 'guilt' and 'shame'. Guilt is saying, "I have done something wrong and I need to make it right." Shame is saying, "I am something wrong."
Racism says that there are differences in people because the color of their skin, and in America, being brown and black skin is something less, not just something different, than being white. It is built into our constitution saying black people only counted as 3/5 of a person, legalizing slavery, and not affording them the rights of voting and due process. Though slavery was outlawed, voting rights granted, and due process given more than it used to be, racism is still part of our society practice in our day-to-day living; how we view justice, who gets the benefit of the doubt, who is considered innocent until proven guilty. There are many ways that it is happening if we have the eyes to see today in our country.
I have heard people argue, "That if you are white, you are racist." And many white people argue, "I am not a racist and I have not enslaved anyone." It is often used as a way to shame as in it is not what we do but who we are. White people are not born hating those of darker hues of skin and not born believing we are superior. We have to be taught that; we have been taught our entire lives and it continues today (though maybe not as strong as before).
I grew up with an adopted brother and an adopted sister who are black. We grew up in a small rural town and they were the only people of color, not just in the school, but in the community. My older sister and I tried our best to protect them and help them, but we were in it alone, we really had no allies in the school or the community in the 1980's that were visible. No other students, teachers, or adults came forward and said, "We have to stop saying racist stuff to these children and work towards seeing them as equals." When I was 7th or 8th grade, I got tired of always being against my classmates and asked my Dad if I could stop defending them. My Dad told me they were family and I couldn't. I am not a racist, I love my brother and sister and didn't see the 'blacks' as less than human. But as I wanted to, and if I was given permission, I could ignore what was happening to them and be one of the crowd. That was a racist thought, desire, and potential action. My younger brother and sister had no choice, I did.
In my freshman year in high school, I was a jr. counselor at a camp where my younger sister, 4th grade, was a camper. She was the only black person there. Some of the girl campers called her names that can only be called to a black person. There were college camp counselors and adults, but they let me take care of it because she was my sister. I did what any older brother would do in high school probably, I yelled and screamed at the girls until they were all crying. It felt good. You made my sister cry, now you are crying. The college kids and adults were not Klu Klux Klan members, but they had no idea how to address this and were too scared to even try.
Does the vast, vast majority of European, light-skinned people in America benefit from the racism in our country? I would say absolutely. Does that make us all racists? I would say no, not in a shame-based way. On a Facebook post, someone said, (paraphrasing) "I am not racist. My parents were good people who raised me to be hard-working. I didn't get anything handed to me." I wondered if he thought George Floyd wasn't raised by hard-working people so that is why he died or if because Officer Derek Chauvin and the other officers weren't raised by hard-working people that allowed them the inhumanity to be lynch George Floyd in public view and almost get away with it. They are being charged and we have to wait for the trial to see if justice is done. But right now, I have hope and, suspect, many don't with good reason. If his thought is that the only difference between him and George Floyd was that he had hard-working parents and George didn't, than that is a racist belief, that Black families don't try to raise their children to be good hard-working Americans and decent human beings. He might not yell "n####r", but has the belief that Black or Brown parents aren't as good as his parents.
There is something called family systems theory. It talks about unhealthy systems, whether family, churches, communities, or even nations that says there are roles to be played, and unless the system is fixed, we may help one trouble-maker, but someone else will take their place. Often a troubled youth will be sent to some kind of group home, camp, or counseling and make work through their issues and become healthier can better, but if nothing is done with the entire family, that youth will automatically start acting out again because that how the system is rigged and we are more comfortable with the rigged system than doing to work to fix it.
I had a minister friend who once quipped, "There isn't anything wrong with a church that a good funeral cannot fix." (He was expressing gallows humor). But I realized that if the church allowed one member to bully, just removing the bully (not by death) and doing nothing else, someone else would take up the role and become a bully.
In the family systems theory of our country, we have operated much longer with slavery, Jim Crow laws, segregation, voter suppression, and our schools are more segregated NOW then when during the time of Brown vs. Board of Education, than we have giving the minorities of this country a fair and equal share of the pie. So removing a racist mayor, chief of police, governor, or President, only gets rid of one person, but often doesn't change the system and how we function. This is why we have seen Black policeman treat Black suspects the same way a racist White cop would; it is the way we function as a society.
Yes, there are active racists, those who want America to be "White Again", who want minorities to know their place, who want to trigger a race war so they can kill and hurt as many of "them" as possible. I believe that they are a minority of our country and growing smaller.
Yes, many of us have been taught and conditioned to believe Whites are superior in most things and Blacks were good at others. I remember in the late 80's when Magic Johnson said, "Larry Bird is the most athletic basketball player in the NBA and I am the smartest." My jaw dropped. I thought that is backward, Larry Bird, to be able to play in the NBA had to be smarter because Magic and other Black players where better athletes because they were Black. That was a racist belief I held, and sometimes I still have them today, and have to check myself on. Too often, we excuse White teenagers with 'boys will be boys' and we shouldn't be too hard on them, but those Black 'Thugs' need to learn respect and should be punished as harshly as possible (way too often).
To fix our country, removing the leaders of our government, business, communities, and churches who are actively racist is a good start and it is needed. However, we also have to fix the system to make sure that others just don't take up the mantle and continue to do things as usual, often shown in our police departments across the nation, leadership may change, but how police deal with Black and Brown people doesn't.
To start to fix the system, we have to admit racism exists in our country right now, and how we are racist, guilt over our beliefs, actions, words, and world-views, and not our identity. We must claim we are worthy of love and respect, as is everyone else. We must confess, if nothing else, we have turned a blind-eye to the ways of our Black and Brown brothers and sisters have been hurt and are hurting today, telling ourselves that is because of their parents, their culture, their differences such as genetics, that are the problem; NOT racism, NOT oppression, and NOT the way we live in our country. After recognizing and confessing our guilt, not our shame, we can then move forward to start to fix the laws, the way we function, and the system including really investing in the families and communities of Black and Brown and Native rather than just giving to ease our guilt or hope they will go away. This is not easy and will take years, decades, maybe generations. But we can do some healing, some building, and some transformation of who we want to be now.
Thomas Jefferson wrote, "All men(people) are created equal." We are closer to that than we have ever been in our nation's history. We also have miles to go, before we can claim this is true in the eyes of our law, our nation, our faith, and in any community.
Brene Brown, a researcher and writer, writes about the difference between 'guilt' and 'shame'. Guilt is saying, "I have done something wrong and I need to make it right." Shame is saying, "I am something wrong."
Racism says that there are differences in people because the color of their skin, and in America, being brown and black skin is something less, not just something different, than being white. It is built into our constitution saying black people only counted as 3/5 of a person, legalizing slavery, and not affording them the rights of voting and due process. Though slavery was outlawed, voting rights granted, and due process given more than it used to be, racism is still part of our society practice in our day-to-day living; how we view justice, who gets the benefit of the doubt, who is considered innocent until proven guilty. There are many ways that it is happening if we have the eyes to see today in our country.
I have heard people argue, "That if you are white, you are racist." And many white people argue, "I am not a racist and I have not enslaved anyone." It is often used as a way to shame as in it is not what we do but who we are. White people are not born hating those of darker hues of skin and not born believing we are superior. We have to be taught that; we have been taught our entire lives and it continues today (though maybe not as strong as before).
I grew up with an adopted brother and an adopted sister who are black. We grew up in a small rural town and they were the only people of color, not just in the school, but in the community. My older sister and I tried our best to protect them and help them, but we were in it alone, we really had no allies in the school or the community in the 1980's that were visible. No other students, teachers, or adults came forward and said, "We have to stop saying racist stuff to these children and work towards seeing them as equals." When I was 7th or 8th grade, I got tired of always being against my classmates and asked my Dad if I could stop defending them. My Dad told me they were family and I couldn't. I am not a racist, I love my brother and sister and didn't see the 'blacks' as less than human. But as I wanted to, and if I was given permission, I could ignore what was happening to them and be one of the crowd. That was a racist thought, desire, and potential action. My younger brother and sister had no choice, I did.
In my freshman year in high school, I was a jr. counselor at a camp where my younger sister, 4th grade, was a camper. She was the only black person there. Some of the girl campers called her names that can only be called to a black person. There were college camp counselors and adults, but they let me take care of it because she was my sister. I did what any older brother would do in high school probably, I yelled and screamed at the girls until they were all crying. It felt good. You made my sister cry, now you are crying. The college kids and adults were not Klu Klux Klan members, but they had no idea how to address this and were too scared to even try.
Does the vast, vast majority of European, light-skinned people in America benefit from the racism in our country? I would say absolutely. Does that make us all racists? I would say no, not in a shame-based way. On a Facebook post, someone said, (paraphrasing) "I am not racist. My parents were good people who raised me to be hard-working. I didn't get anything handed to me." I wondered if he thought George Floyd wasn't raised by hard-working people so that is why he died or if because Officer Derek Chauvin and the other officers weren't raised by hard-working people that allowed them the inhumanity to be lynch George Floyd in public view and almost get away with it. They are being charged and we have to wait for the trial to see if justice is done. But right now, I have hope and, suspect, many don't with good reason. If his thought is that the only difference between him and George Floyd was that he had hard-working parents and George didn't, than that is a racist belief, that Black families don't try to raise their children to be good hard-working Americans and decent human beings. He might not yell "n####r", but has the belief that Black or Brown parents aren't as good as his parents.
There is something called family systems theory. It talks about unhealthy systems, whether family, churches, communities, or even nations that says there are roles to be played, and unless the system is fixed, we may help one trouble-maker, but someone else will take their place. Often a troubled youth will be sent to some kind of group home, camp, or counseling and make work through their issues and become healthier can better, but if nothing is done with the entire family, that youth will automatically start acting out again because that how the system is rigged and we are more comfortable with the rigged system than doing to work to fix it.
I had a minister friend who once quipped, "There isn't anything wrong with a church that a good funeral cannot fix." (He was expressing gallows humor). But I realized that if the church allowed one member to bully, just removing the bully (not by death) and doing nothing else, someone else would take up the role and become a bully.
In the family systems theory of our country, we have operated much longer with slavery, Jim Crow laws, segregation, voter suppression, and our schools are more segregated NOW then when during the time of Brown vs. Board of Education, than we have giving the minorities of this country a fair and equal share of the pie. So removing a racist mayor, chief of police, governor, or President, only gets rid of one person, but often doesn't change the system and how we function. This is why we have seen Black policeman treat Black suspects the same way a racist White cop would; it is the way we function as a society.
Yes, there are active racists, those who want America to be "White Again", who want minorities to know their place, who want to trigger a race war so they can kill and hurt as many of "them" as possible. I believe that they are a minority of our country and growing smaller.
Yes, many of us have been taught and conditioned to believe Whites are superior in most things and Blacks were good at others. I remember in the late 80's when Magic Johnson said, "Larry Bird is the most athletic basketball player in the NBA and I am the smartest." My jaw dropped. I thought that is backward, Larry Bird, to be able to play in the NBA had to be smarter because Magic and other Black players where better athletes because they were Black. That was a racist belief I held, and sometimes I still have them today, and have to check myself on. Too often, we excuse White teenagers with 'boys will be boys' and we shouldn't be too hard on them, but those Black 'Thugs' need to learn respect and should be punished as harshly as possible (way too often).
To fix our country, removing the leaders of our government, business, communities, and churches who are actively racist is a good start and it is needed. However, we also have to fix the system to make sure that others just don't take up the mantle and continue to do things as usual, often shown in our police departments across the nation, leadership may change, but how police deal with Black and Brown people doesn't.
To start to fix the system, we have to admit racism exists in our country right now, and how we are racist, guilt over our beliefs, actions, words, and world-views, and not our identity. We must claim we are worthy of love and respect, as is everyone else. We must confess, if nothing else, we have turned a blind-eye to the ways of our Black and Brown brothers and sisters have been hurt and are hurting today, telling ourselves that is because of their parents, their culture, their differences such as genetics, that are the problem; NOT racism, NOT oppression, and NOT the way we live in our country. After recognizing and confessing our guilt, not our shame, we can then move forward to start to fix the laws, the way we function, and the system including really investing in the families and communities of Black and Brown and Native rather than just giving to ease our guilt or hope they will go away. This is not easy and will take years, decades, maybe generations. But we can do some healing, some building, and some transformation of who we want to be now.
Thomas Jefferson wrote, "All men(people) are created equal." We are closer to that than we have ever been in our nation's history. We also have miles to go, before we can claim this is true in the eyes of our law, our nation, our faith, and in any community.
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